go go go

hours are passed
days just go..
and everything seems out of control....
want to stop and relax but evrything seems out of reach...
its going to be end of this year too...
and things changed in flash..
like a 3 hour bollywood movie... didn feel time was more than that...
realized a break is the right thing this moment..
and i got it........

Bus no. 534...

one more story... in a week... this is one local bus no. which has become associated to me in the past one week... i experimented different buses on the roads of our own "dilli ki sadkein" but wen i talk abt this bus i.e. 534.... its rare i get a DTC.. b its more fun in the blueline... although local guys may b eve teasing n trying to tuch u.... bt its more fun wen u kick thm.... n listen to the local hindi songs... mostly radio mirchi...the odr thing wich is so near to me.... or sharukh special.... aaaaahh!!! its aweful if u r tired of office work n jst wanna get home....... bt the second day i felt... wats harm in tht if i njoy wat was happening around........ the bus n the natural way v swing wen v don get seat ...... in the bus.........
bt truly... u mst try once in ur life time........ the ride of delhi's local buses..... its fun man... thre's no fun in comfort....... bt wen v get tht once in a while its heaven... i get it in d same day... as morning.... i get a chartered bus...... wich is full of serious n tense office going people travelling daily from east delhi to south delhi.........
saadi dilli gr8 hai..........!!!! n saaadddii dilli ke log usse bhi gr8.......!!!!

aftr the morning cacophony... its a peace of mind... n soul n i am able to write n find time for this... blogging... its noon one.... cookers in the kitchen wich wre successful in waking me up in the morning are finally in peace wen they found me awake... n my mum also... its a gud trick of mothers... nyway... the best thing abt this is... smthn is really gr8 at lunch.... yummyy!!! thts the feeling being at home on sundays........ life's a UBAD - GHAAABAD RAASTA .... as smtimes its fun smtimes its sad n smtimes its peace....... it feels nice tht i njoy evry part of it...... n to the fullest.....
many changes r still awaiting... n am really excited about the future.... let it be hush hush .... n more hushes ....... i mean let it b a surprise...

and i joined the routine.....

getting up in the morning
waving my hands here n dre on the table near my bed searching for my specs... n then the first thing in my routine is done.... yes i got it... MY specs..
nw.... switching on the tape recorder... the same cassette... chants of gayatri matra... n wondering.. its seven already... oh god !!! nw i hv to rush.... evn my sister is ready for school.... milk has also cm.. its only me hu is late FOR OFFICE...... n finally i arrived at my point....
its been a week today since i fetched my customary routine... i joined latelty last monday...
i'm happy... adjusting to the new life wasnt tht tuff ... as far as i feel till now... may b i got better thn wt i expected... actually i didn expect n didn thought abt it especially aftr learing a lesson from pat two years i spent in a B-school...still feel i was really out of place...
bt may b today i got m place... n i want to be thr... i have peace of mind n i feel myself... aftr a long long time..
my dearies r also hapy... wich is nodr thing wich keeps me happy,... n more ovr am bak home n started staying wid thm.... n joined the routine wid my family........
so wen i cm out of office in the evening... the most b'ful feeling is i am goin home...... yes thats IT!!!!!!!

just wanna get liberated

i just smtimes thought how can people jst change to the extent to their opposites.... bt wen i observed my self , i changed , my attitude changed , my thinking changed... either i am getting too selfish or i want eveyrhtn ..... n may b i am troubling odrs.... bt 4 wot.... y do i beleive tht odrs shud get the point on their own... i hv lost my patience n i hv nothing left.. feell empty n hollow 4m inside.... its nt tht i'm goin thru tuff times or smthn its jst tht,... i hv time to think so mch.... i should nt think either.... or if i don think i wont b able to solve myself....... i hv hell lotta confusions... bt deep inside... i don wanna trouble ny one nt evn me... n thts it... i may hv started luving myself more... its nt me... people around me r lik tht.... is tht influencing me... ??
i want to get liberated of all attachments lik luv or realtion.... bt i'm one of them... bt smtimes it beats hard me on ground... n am lost......

finally got time...

so after a long long time , I'm writing my blog.. sitting at a damp cyber cafe... wid little light i remember my BIMTECH days when NET was never a big deal to access ... everything just was just next to my fingers in MY room on MY table in My flat... may b i miss smtimes... although i never thought i would...
yes today i'm so freee.... i feel no need to look at my diary neither checking my blog... nor updating it... coz i'm freed.. of all such worries... i got what i wanted ... a simple job... evry1 s happy wid me n me 2 cz odr r happy too... kindaa happy...
so nw start of a new life... waiting for my joining.. before that a quite long break to kerala is waiting for me...... am very excited.....!!! so will cya soon...

direct dil se....

dont remebr wre i heard this title from but i really liked it...bold n clear... can say sm aspects i really luk for in a person after me...
its our habit as humans to discuss among oursleves the personalities of persons surrounding us... for gals usually the term is coined as gossip.. although its just a word... but guys also do the same....... so no discrimination here...
its a human tendency to do so.. so i feel there's nothing wrong in doing so... u learn things smtimes u even look inside u... but its not always positive........ till u arent harming other person's image in front of others... n mostly peoeple do dat... evn gud ones r not behind tht...
n some people r often confused about themselves.. i think rare r sure of themselves... sm think abt it n sm accept themselves the way they r...... not ready to change at all........ for thm they hide selfishness in shade of ego.......
u can say......... its tuff to judge a person........ n get tied 4 whole life....... its a treasure hunt..... which is neverending....... or u realize the treasure wz alvz wid u...... at a very weak n no stage f life.......
so better to start knowing urself....... widout harming odrs......
:)

kabhi kabhi---- continued...

its really nice to be lost in your thoughts n just be lost wid urself.....
ur characters n mold thm the way you want thm to be... but its better to be beware
as wen u wake up u must realize the difference between dreams and reality...
day dreaming.. is art of evryone's daily life... n those moments really mk us happy for smtime....
sm person, sm crush... sm place u wanna go...sm position u wanna reach..smthn wich u really makes u happy.... jst crossing ur thoughts.. or u hv in ur subconcious mind..its fun... to be in your space.... u hv ur life ur way...
smtimes they bcm ur motivation for ur real life.. bt u shud hv a strong heart... n its strong coodination wid mind... oderwise... it may b a disaster... d disaster... wich may actaully make u fell into deep well...of black night... u'll nvr c dreams...
cm out of it... DARE TO DREAM
u shud hv d spirit in u.....
DARE TO LOVE...
its hard bt being selfless is not human..its a heavenly thing...
u hv to fall to rise ...
rarely people do that..
DARE TO FACE
the way u r , ur dear ones r... accept thm before the world the way dey r...
DARE TO BE WAT U R
...
odr wise...
i feel...
its worthless being watevr u r.........

kabhi kabhi dil me khaayal aata hai..

at a very fixed state of mind , donow... leave it like tht or think abt it....
matter of lifetime... bt smtimes feel leave everything... n b on nirvana 4 nxt few years
thn will hv to follow d rules of life...
cant give much... to it...
may b its selfish , d place wre it shudnt b dre.... bt
its enough......
it has to get sm solution....
struggled......
wanna b freeeeee

some b'ful quotes... about the "S"

"If one is estranged from oneself, then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others."
"We are all something, but none of us are everything"
"Perhaps the most important thing we can undertake toward the reduction of fear is to make it easier for people to accept themselves, to like themselves"
"To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves--there lies the great, singular power of self-respect."
"Self-respect is a question of recognizing that anything worth having has a price."
some great quotes... by great people...
who got into depth of life...
no one wants to take life seriously as it troubles....
bt life teaches evryone its depth...
donow... hw later or soon shud it be beneficial....
bt at sm point of time... it becomes must
to know urself, ur friends, ur lover, ur family n evryone around u..
u hv to b a deep observer......
to learn..... to know what u r....... who u r ...
wre u stand... wt ur expectations r ... n what people expect from u....
u need to know urself more deeply... to know the one u want to.....
to know whosoevr u wish to....
:)

the two special "S"

wot v all do is learning from this ocean called life... not to go more philosophical...
i have time to spare ...
n suddenly ...
two words passed...
smwre... wen i thought to give stress to my mind...
wen d stress was about to burst my heart..
self respect and satisfaction...
two most important lessons of life i came through....
if u realize thm u grow....
odrwise u'll die being a cocoon..
i preffered being a larvae n come out with struggle..
the "S" - both of thm can be realized...
bt with brother "P" called Patience...
soon... i'll b free...
and fly ...
like a butterfly...
my colours wud attractn spread happiness...
i'll only suck my nectar wid ma choice of flower..
my presence will giv thy n thm d most evr wanted..
d only thing wich wz missing in their dry lives...
d butterfly will make thm damp wid her butter of love....
:)

and finally....

finally, i hv reached smwre.. soon going to enter an adult world wid soon reaching so called roles..

out from the shell,
ringing new bells,
not of wedding ofcourse,,,
its a call from life.
a resistance is putting me on hold ,
atleast i am lucky enuf.
yes i am.
:)

hum kis gali jaa rahe hain..

a very suitable line for my my life from atif's album.. jst on d verge to finish my formal education... bt i still wander.. wre will i finally put up... dis nite.. am singing , tapping my feets..
like smthn is really stored in a golden pack for me by god.. cant beleive myself.. i still cant get away this beleif...
will complete this para very soon... :) wid a more bigger smile.... n tears of happineess.... hugging my all dearies..... i luv u all......